I haven't written on here in quite some time, and really it was almost out of personal choice rather than not having time to write. the week after spring break was very hectic and the past couple of weeks have been nice but frustrating.

i'm writing today because i'm frustrated, almost angered, and I kinda just want to vent. But I think generally it is not best to write out of emotion, but out of emotion comes who you really are right? maybe? I think really this is just going to help me get my thoughts down and I can reflect on things.

I'm frustrated with myself because I don't take the time to do everything I really want to do. I would love to write more but I just don't take the time to do it and I would love to exercise more but I don't in the interest of school work but then I generally put off school work and then I've missed out on both. I need to be spending more time nourishing my spiritual/religious life but for some reason I can find an excuse to make up for it.

I let other people frustrate me and then I become more frustrated with the fact that I let that bother me. I dont like seeing people waste thier life or the advantages that they have been given and it frustrates me more when that has a negative affect on others around them.

right now the rowing team is not working like it should and I just want to give up on it, but I feel as if I have too large of a stake in the team and the guys on it to not keep pushing forward. But why should I do this if it is taking away from what I need to do?

I think my problem is that I let too much affect me that shouldn't affect me. I allow my emotions to take charge and I shouldn't. so what if someone else is letting their life slip away, should I let that frustrate me? Should I be conscerned about just myself? maybe, but then again, maybe not.

I've been thinking more and more that it's probably best that I'm moving away next year so that I can start fresh. Not that what I have going on up here in knoxville is bad for me, but a chance to see who I really am all over again. When I came to UT my freshman year I really got to see what I was made of and I think now that I've matured more than I could have imagined I'll be a little surprised about what I see in myself next year, but not too much, because I'm aware of my habits and my personality, but your surroundings have a stake in how you behave.

I can't believe how fast this past semester has gone by and really how fast these past four years have gone by. If I could go back and change them I dont think I would change a minute of it. Though there might be a few things that I change, but in the overall picture of it, I would leave it the same. As I think back on everything from these past four years as I type this, I'm a little sad that it is all over, but at the same time, I'm ready to move on. I used to be afraid of graduating, but now I'm excited because of the road ahead and the new challenges and people that I will encounter along the way.

Speaking of challenges, I competed in the Navy Seal Extreme Challenge this past weekend. I came in 9th overall and 3rd in my age group. I fell like I did pretty well considering I know that I'm out of shape and that my age group is the hardest one since you are supposed to be in the best physical shape right around the age of 25 or 26. The guy that won over all was in my age group.

Anyways. I do feel a little better about my frustrations. Not that I really sorted anything out, but I think the fact that I got them off my chest. There is no reason to waste time being frustrated or aggrivated, you just need to make due with the hand you've been dealt and try to make things better as you progress.

I want to say that I'm in one of the best classes I've ever taken this semester. We're learning all about taxes and how the government raises money. and what a great time to be discussing this while our economy is not doing so great. we've learned about everything from how the tax system affects you from buying a bag of sugar(which costs about 5 times more here in the u.s. than in other countries because of subsidies), to buying a home(the gov't is encouraging you to buy a home you can't afford with all the tax credits which cost the government more than welfare and charitable giving credits combined), to how a person decides to save versus spend on a daily basis. And our teacher is the economic advisor for Tennessee, so it makes it more relavent I feel.

Well I need to be taking this time to study. I hope everyone is doing well.

piece